I try to catch up on reading my friends blogs as much as I can (when I get the chance), and lately it seems like when I read some of them I get the feeling that everyone is in Happy Land and they are perfect and their kids are perfect and nothing goes wrong during the day. I'm sure my own blogging has given out that impression too. Now don't get me wrong, everyone wants to share the good times and the cute pictures of the kids and all the happy moments. No one wants to stop and take a picture during the tantrums, right? (BTW, the picture you see of Cade crying was taken a week ago by my sister! I don't remember why he's crying, and I'm not sure why there's a picture of it, but man, isn't he mad!)
Well, let me confess something right now... we are not in Happy Land here at the Bedard house! Cade is asleep and that is why I'm able to write this, but before he went to sleep it was WWIII at our house. I've already said, "Cade, don't poke your sister (in the soft spot/eye). Cade don't shake your sister while she's in her bouncy chair. Cade, don't smack your sister in the head. Cade don't drop that truck on your sister" more than I ever thought I would at this point!!!!! Today he has had 4 time-outs, the 4th one finally got his attention! This happens in between the tantrums for no reason, or the fits of rage because teeth are coming in (he usually gets 2 at a time or more) or because he isn't getting his way at that moment. I'm pretty sure we've hit the "strong willed" 2's already. He thinks throwing his food is a good way to tell me he's finished eating. I'm trying to teach him some sign language so he can communicate with me, but that is not going well. He just stares at me like I'm an idiot. I know most of this will resolve itself when he is able to talk more. I know sometimes he's just frustrated because he's trying to tell me something and I'm not getting it. I know when Parker is able to play with him some of this will get better and then some new problems will arise. (Please, no advice! I know, I know!!!) All I'm saying is, it's just one of those days today and I want to tell everyone about it instead of keeping up the "I'm so perfect and my family is perfect" wall.
Well, let me confess something right now... we are not in Happy Land here at the Bedard house! Cade is asleep and that is why I'm able to write this, but before he went to sleep it was WWIII at our house. I've already said, "Cade, don't poke your sister (in the soft spot/eye). Cade don't shake your sister while she's in her bouncy chair. Cade, don't smack your sister in the head. Cade don't drop that truck on your sister" more than I ever thought I would at this point!!!!! Today he has had 4 time-outs, the 4th one finally got his attention! This happens in between the tantrums for no reason, or the fits of rage because teeth are coming in (he usually gets 2 at a time or more) or because he isn't getting his way at that moment. I'm pretty sure we've hit the "strong willed" 2's already. He thinks throwing his food is a good way to tell me he's finished eating. I'm trying to teach him some sign language so he can communicate with me, but that is not going well. He just stares at me like I'm an idiot. I know most of this will resolve itself when he is able to talk more. I know sometimes he's just frustrated because he's trying to tell me something and I'm not getting it. I know when Parker is able to play with him some of this will get better and then some new problems will arise. (Please, no advice! I know, I know!!!) All I'm saying is, it's just one of those days today and I want to tell everyone about it instead of keeping up the "I'm so perfect and my family is perfect" wall.
Let's be honest, ladies, the day-to-day with the little ones can sometimes get to us, and to add to that, sometimes our husbands can get on our nerves too. It's been one of those days in the marriage department as well. I don't get mad at many things, but today I've been so mad about something that happened yesterday that I can't hardly speak. Now, I know, I know, please don't lecture me or judge me. I know we are not supposed to let the sun go down on our anger. Well, we did, and it will all be okay. We plan on taking our 2 mile walk around ACU and discussing what happened. Keep in mind that Chris is going to be a marriage and family therapist, so we will be talking ALL about our feelings and this and that, so on and so on!!! Don't worry about us. I'm just trying to make the point that today I've almost reached my breaking point with the stress level and I think we, as moms and wives, need to confess that to each other. Again, I don't need any advice on this... I have a great group of women I call on when I need support. My friend, Jana, who is also busy wife and mom (and also lives close enough to visit when we both need to get out of the house and vent to each other), Erin, in Virginia, always gets an ear FULL of venting when (and if) we get the chance to talk, and the 2 that go without saying (but will say anyway) my mom and sister. There are more who get to hear my venting, but these 4 get it more than most!! Sorry y'all, but thanks for listening!
Yes, you will still see cute pictures of the kids on this blog, but for today I just wanted to confess that not everything is so cute! I am not the perfect wife/mom, my kids are not perfect, and my marriage is not perfect. Why can't we publicly talk about that sometimes? I'd like to be real about that every once-in-a-while, so PLEASE don't think I'm complaining. My kids and my marriage are Heaven sent. I count my blessings every day, and sometimes every minute (seriously). I remember what it's like to not have either in my life, and believe me, my life is better off with them.
There's more on my mind, but that's all I have time for now. Keep it real, ladies...
and a shout out to all you wives and moms who have these kinds of days too! If you don't have these days, well, your probably from another planet and I don't want to be your friend! ha ha!
luv, mindy
9 comments:
Yesterday was one of those days for me. I just don't think I should have to ask Kennedy to pick up her shoes 400 times!
Anderson continues to be Fuss Face. As I am typing this he is pulling up on my chair fake crying!
Ronald is Ronald! I know I knew he was annoying before I married him, but I swear he has gotten worse!
I feel your pain. I'm just glad there are more good moments than bad, usually!
Thanks for bein' real, my friend. Part of the reason I don't read many blogs anymore is because of what you mentioned in the first paragraph: "I get the feeling everyone is in Happy Land and they are perfect and their kids are perfect and nothing goes wrong during the day." I appreciate the fact you can share your struggles, in writing and in person. And you don't at all come across as complaining or being ungrateful. This is real life. You're just brave enough to write about it. Thank you Mindy! I LOVE YOU!!!
Hi Mindy! It's Jill Young. Congrats on your new little baby. :)
Well, I wanted to ditto want Jana said. I don't read a lot of blogs that appear to always be in "happyland" too. I'm probably one of them though...I don't talk about the bad days in my marriage much. I think I'll start trying to blog about those days when they come...like the "discussion" Sam and I had last night.
But as Erin said, as long as the good days out number the bad days and when if we get better at handling the bad days, I think we're doing pretty well!
You are a GREAT Wife and Mom!
Yep, we all have days like that--even Grandmas! I usually write only the good stuff about Conner, because he's my grandbaby and I'm supposed to think he's perfect. But he isn't perfect....just perfect to me....but today, he had the sniffles, and nothing I did interested him for long. He didn't want to be held, he didn't want his bottle, he didn't want any toys I offered him...only the things he's NOT supposed to play with. And he REALLY didn't want his nose cleaned as often as I had to clean it! The only nap he took was on the way to my house this morning! I was happy when Cam got here to pick him up....but I'll be glad to start all over tomorrow. Also, I was happy not to have to make dinner, because tonight is my art class night. Yes, Don annoys me about as often as I annoy him, but I still am happy to crawl into bed next to him every night. When he's the passenger in the car and I'm driving, I want to drop him off on the street corner pretty often....when I'm driving, he wishes he could drop me off on the street corner and drive himself!:) But he also went to the dentist with me Monday, just because we thought I might have to have a crown and root canal, and he was so supportive! And yes, even my grown kids annoy me sometimes, and I definitely annoy them whenever I have an opinion. :) But, like you and Chris and your kiddos, we all love each other, forgive each other, and welcome new days. You're doing great, Mindy! I love reading about your family.
Thanks for that!! :) I think Nelson and Cade could be time-out buddies -- he pushed Grant over so many times today I lost count (I think he thinks his little brother is a weeble-wobble!)
We all have those days! (Or weeks, or months...my summer was sooo hard!) I think several people quit reading my blog b/c all I did was complain about how frustrated I was with my daughter and husband! Ha! Thank goodness it was just a phase. I have no doubt there will be another rough stretch soon, but for the time being I'm enjoying this "easy" phase. Don't forget you have 2 kids under 2...you deserve an award just for that! :)
-kristen g.
Well if you want my advice, you want advice right? I think Cade should run around naked more. We men need to feel free and that's the best way to do it. BTW, I plan on walking around naked most of the time I'm in your house this weekend.
hey mindy...it is christie...kelli's friend...she suggested that I read your blog because I have had one of those weeks...and yes, it is only wednesday! Love the honesty...and you are NOT alone...life is never perfect!
Mindy, I looked back into my blog to find posts from the "early days" of 2 kids. I realize I didn't blog then. :) It's stressful and not much fun. Asher was a stinker w/ Ainsley at 1st. All the things you said Cade is doing, Asher did. I amened through your entire post. I'm not sure how much comfort company is when daily life is yucky, but you do have company.
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